What can I do for a grieving family to provide comfort?

I know the obvious like being with them and providing encouraging words, celebrating the life of the deceased, and providing food and flowers. I am very blessed to never have had the loss of an immediate family member. Last night my pastor and her husband found their youngest son dead (at 30 he was my age), she is always the one that comforts everyone else, and I just want to do something special for them. Our church is arranging food and sorts. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

What can I do for a grieving family to provide comfort?
offer them help with their yard, or around the house. or maybe a massage gift certificate?





get some family /friends who have some good pictures and make them a photobook .. that would be nice.





sorry about their loss :(
Reply:Tivo thier favorite programs so they won't miss them. It's the little things that count.
Reply:Listen to her/them, no matter what they want to talk about.


Make time for them, when they feel the need.





If they have relatives coming in for the services, offer your home for babysitting or (if you feel comfortable) guests to stay over.





These gestures will be VERY appreciated and will last in their memories long after the cakes are eaten and the flowers have wilted.





What a kind and considerate friend you are!
Reply:One of the best things you can do is bring them food. People that are grieving normally do not want to leave the house to go get anything. By bringing the food and desserts you will ease their minds of worrying about another thing.
Reply:You can remind him that the nature of the soul is immortal and his time was up by God's will in his present human body. We all have a mission to accomplish while on earth, so his was for thirty years.
Reply:Everyone will comfort them this year. It would be really nice if you could write the date of his death on your calender and send them a card or food on the anniversary of his death for next year. And even put flowers on his grave so when they go by a year from now, that they are reminded someone remembered.
Reply:Take em food and give em mutual support and find out if they might need some cash to cover funeral expensives i used to work at a large Cemetary and i know funerals aint cheap by know means
Reply:Wow, Wide Awake answered that great. I would go with his suggestions plus, as someone who has lost a great deal of family members, I would let them know that you are willing to do all those things, and that you will wait for them to contact you. I loved that everyone was there for me, but it was very overwhelming to have people stopping by or calling all the time.


My sympathies to you.


Good luck.
Reply:In addition to Wide Awakes terrific answer, I would add the following: My mother often house sits during the funeral services because a lot of robberies occur during these times. ( People can be so cruel), and the mourners very much appreciate this. Also, I say don't say much, but listen a lot. Sorry for your loss.
Reply:What have you witnessed her do in a similar situation???


I would say that as long as you express your sympathy's and really listen to her if she decides to speak of it...I think that would be enough.


Did the young man have a wife or children?? If so maybe you could start a fundraiser in his name to help the widow or to set up a college fund for his children.


Keep in mind...if you do offer to be there for them in any way...do not be offended if they do not ask for help. It is common for grieving people to not take up on the offers of others.


Make sure they receive a healthy amount of privacy....encourage all you know to send their condolences..but keep in mind that they are suffering through an exhausting ordeal..as new as it is...they will soon need some quiet time to heal!!


My sympathy to the family.