Isn't this kind of morbid? A young girl was killed in a 4wheeler accident near my house about 4 yrs ago.?

Her family has set up an extensive memorial (stuffed animals, plaques, crosses, flowers, stones arranged in a heart, pictures) at the tree she hit, that they visit regularly(many times a week). I'm sympathetic that they lost a daughter tragically, but i can't understand why they would visit the site she was killed instead of where she's laid to rest. Is this a proper way to grieve and don't you think they need closure?

Isn't this kind of morbid? A young girl was killed in a 4wheeler accident near my house about 4 yrs ago.?
I agree with you. Nothing wrong with initially making a memorial at the tree, or with leaving ONE cross as a reminder to others. But four years and an extensive memorial shrine is a bit much. Grieving at the grave site is more appropriate and beneficial. It's time to put closure to it...true, it takes some people longer than others...but they can't move forward if they are constantly reminded of and living in the past. Part could be the guilt they feel for letting it happen. But it serves no purpose there...just a sad memory. The little girl wouldn't want it. Did they ever seek grief counseling?


Let's see...'four years x many times a week to the site' vs. 'nine years to the grave site' (and truly sorry for your loss) and 'once a year to another site'...I really see no comparison and still believe this family needs more counseling to put closure to this obsession. It's not a healthy one.
Reply:There is no "proper" way to grieve, If visiting the site helps comfort the family, I see no harm in it.
Reply:After four years, I'd kind of wonder about that, too.
Reply:Why does it matter to you what these people do to remember their child? I have lost a child and continue to visit her grave-its been nine years. I have a friend who was killed in a train accident and we go to the site once a year to remember her. There is nothing wrong with what anybody does to grieve. If they choose to visit this spot, maybe it helps them. Its not morbid. Its what these people want to do to remember their child.
Reply:Maybe they think that her spirit is at the spot where she was killed, and that was the place that she left this earth, rather than the grave site. People grieve in different ways, don't they?
Reply:I think it is a little morbid and that they are having a difficult time letting go. I think there are just some people who do that. I don't know if it is a cultural thing or what. Here where I live there are places along the roads like that....flowers etc at places where people died in accidents. Personally I would never do that. I would think about my loved one who died everytime I passes that spot but I wouldn't put up any kind of memorial or anything at the spot.
Reply:personally, i agree with you. i would think that visiting the accident site would be keeping the wound open. i can't imagine any closure coming from this. but i suppose everyone grieves differently.
Reply:The most difficult thing in life would have to be losing a child. And yes, I would agree that this might not seem like the place to grieve but, different people grieve in different ways.





Maybe they feel closer to her there. I do not know.