Are you becoming a victim of the US Wedding industry?

The wedding industry in the US is a huge business where couples (or their parents) run up credit card bills beyond what they can afford. With flowers in the thousands of dollars, extravagant locations, dresses not quite worth the fabric they’re made from and brides who complain and are never satisfied.





It seems some weddings are no longer a celebration of love but a show of money! I am in this business and I see it all.







Remember ‘home made weddings’ when aunts prepared their favorite food, sisters and cousins would decorate and arrange flowers, while mom and bride made favors and the veil! It was a time to reflect, to enjoy family, to share the experience.





In other countries this is still the norm, but does the US consumer mentality and the wedding industry that encourages it, forget what a wedding is for?





What, in your opinion %26amp; country is the most essential part of a wedding, what is/was your budget, what did you end up spending %26amp; what would you do different?

Are you becoming a victim of the US Wedding industry?
A B S O L U T E L Y





I agree that the meaining and sacredness of the event is lost and more people are interested in outdoing the next bride and having a party of all parties.
Reply:I agree and I don't....


personally I think it's ridiculous to put yourself into debt for one day. You have your whole lives to plan for and prepare for. Of course you want it to be nice but there is nice and than there is extravagant.


But if you want that... and you have the money to do so (not by charging it all on credit cards) that is totally your business.


Personally my wedding is in March.... we wanted to keep things small and simple, but very nice. We are using friends for DJ and family for photographer. My mom bargained for my dress and I am using her veil and the flower girl dress for my flower girl from her wedding. We are making lots of things. But our wedding is still coming in at about 8000 - 10000 because anything wedding related is so expensive and I think that is the problem with the industry some places really rip you off.


For example you can call and get prices for flowers but if they know the flowers are for a wedding they immediately charge more sometimes.... that's crazy!


I'm happy with our day and I've cut a lot corners and I have two other friends getting married after me or are spending MUCH more and they think I'm crazy... but I bet that my wedding will be as nice as thiers and at the end of the day I'll be just as married lol
Reply:I know a couple who are still $20,000 in debt due to a lavish wedding, 2 years after the DIVORCE! Can you imagine how awful it would be to still be paying for a wedding after you get a divorce. :(
Reply:The wedding industry is like any other. Driven by demand, it is not entirely fair to blame "the industry" without looking at the consumers. Those individuals who run up their credit cards for their wedding will probably go on to run up their credit cards on a plasma tv or vacation. They are victims of a larger problem. The rest of us plan weddings we can afford. I may be a victim to wanting a gorgeous wedding, but if I can afford it whats the problem? Everyone spends their money how they want based on their preferences; thats just simple economics.
Reply:Everyone plans for that one day, they do nothing to prepare for the marriage! It is really sad...that is why there are so many "starter" marriages!!
Reply:We're a US couple, and are resisting getting sucked into the wedding industry vortex. We, do, however want a basically traditional American wedding, like the ones our parents and siblings and friends had. We're living within a budget that's based on how much we could reasonably expect to save between the engagement and the wedding. We agreed not to go into debt for the wedding. So, we're working the wedding around the budget--how many guests, what kind of food, the flowers, the music, photographer, etc. are all tested against the budget. We're a bit ahead on the savings plan, so we're not having to cut things that we had decided on early. But, we're not spending a lot on many things (a couple of hundred on flowers, not a couple of thousand, about a hundred on my wedding dress, we bargained with the DJ and photographer, we're making our own invitations, programs, place cards, reply cards and thank-you cards, using a family heirloom ring, making my veil and the favors and centerpieces, no limo, postponing the honeymoon for four months after the wedding). It's going to be beautiful, but within our $12,000 budget, no debt.





Really, the only critical part of the wedding is the he, I, an officiant and two witnesses be there. Everything else is extra.
Reply:According to Forbes the average US wedding is something like $26,000. This is outrageous and ridiculous.





What's really crazy is that some couples take out loans and get into huge debts just to have this 'perfect' wedding. Then they live in some crappy rented apartment, when they could have used the wedding money as a down payment on a nice house.
Reply:Weddings and Funerals are the worst industries out there because they prey on human emotion and they get you when you are at your most vulnerable.





People should always go for the wedding that they can afford rather than the wedding of their dreams, or, wait until they can afford the wedding of their dreams without selling their soul to the credit card companies. Some people do not have self control and you cannot blame anyone for that.





Good luck
Reply:We don't have a budget-we're spending whatever it costs to get the things we want. We will end up spending about $25-30K when it's all said and done.





I do not recall home made weddings-I'm 38 years old and never been to one in my life and have also never personally known anyone who has had one. We just don't do that where I'm from (NE Pennsylvania).





I figure I waited 38 years to marry the man of my dreams (first wedding for both of us), and we earn income sufficient to not have to worry about every single cent we spend. We're doing our wedding our way, and things cost money. We'll earn more.





We aren't having any bridal party, no programs or favors, only spending $200 on the photographer, and less than that on flowers. His wedding attire only cost $65. We are, however spending lots of plane tix and hotel rooms for our families to fly to St Thomas, wine and dine them properly, and have great music--these things matter to us, and we'll spend what's necessary to make sure everyone has a great time celebrating with us.





It doesn't matter to me what anyone else does or doesn't do for their wedding. It isn't my business. I just hope if I'm invited to a wedding, the couple is happy, and the food and drinks are good.





I've heard the "save your $ for a home" argument, but we already own our land outright, and broke ground today for our dreamhome. We already do have a hefty downpayment.
Reply:I live in the US, and think it's ridiculous what some people spend. Here is what our wedding cost:


My dress: $650


Reception: $3200 (85 people, alcohol included)


Flowers: $400


Marriage License: $35


Tuxes: $375


Limo: $300


Favors: $120


Flower Girl Dress: $80


Alterations for both: $75


DJ: $300?


Cake: $350





So, not counting the bridesmaids dresses since they paid for those, the cost was $5885. And I wouldn't have done anything differently.
Reply:I think it's insane for people to spend thousands on their wedding. My sister in Montana attended a wedding just a couple of months ago where the wedding cost $100,000. (No kidding.) They had a menu for the guests to order from and everything. She said it was beautiful, and I guess if you have the money to do it, why not? But is it something that is just for show or is it for the sentimental value?





My husband and I did for under $2000. It was small, but we didn't go into debt for it. Sure, looking back, there were things we would do differently, but I wouldn't change the fact we didn't go into debt. One of the best pieces of advice I can offer people is if you can do it yourself, DO IT YOURSELF instead of paying someone to do it. There are things where that wouldn't work, of course, but for the most part, the decorations, the invitations, the food, can all be done by you or family. Course, that does depend on the size of the wedding you want. At any rate, I have thought about becoming a wedding planner myself, but in the end, I think the stressed out brides (who expect their day to be PERFECT) would cause me more stress than I need.
Reply:Good question!





I've never cared about having a "perfect" or "fairy tale" kind of wedding. My wedding isn't just a union between the hubby and me, it's a celebration between us and all of those that love us. That's the most essential thing to remember, as long as we have each other (which is the whole point of the wedding anyways!) and our family and friends, we're set :)





I'm spending less than 5k on my wedding (shocking when a lot of people pay around 25k!). We're having buffet style and my grandma, mom and I are doing a lot of the baking. We love to bake and have always baked together (it's how we bond LOL). All my family and friends are coming to a huge reception (which we're decorating ourselves) and going to dance and celebrate all night long.





I'm really excited :)
Reply:What I did wrong...spent way to much money and didnt focus on what matters most. That you love this person and that you want to spend the rest of your life with them. If I were to do it again I would have a huge back yard BBQ, with only our closest friends and family. Id say come on over, we are getting married, oh and could you bring a bag of chips. lol.
Reply:I so agree with you, I am planning a wedding and have been doing searches on-line to find items to use. My budget-- 600$ for the whole thing!!





It takes some creativity and thinking outside the box but it can be done. I just don't believe in spending tons of money on a party per sae, but I do believe in making it a special and remembered day.





This is especially true for first timers, why blow all that money on a wedding when you could start your married life debt free, or invest in a home ? It just doesn't make sense, but that is just my own practical view :)
Reply:I agree with you! Thankfully, I've been married for 15 years and my wedding, while nice and professionally done, was not over the top! We were married at a place in Laguna Beach CA that offered the ceremony upstairs and receptions downstairs. They handled everything except the DJ, the flowers, pictures and our clothes. We had about 100 guests and I think the night cost us about $5000, I believe. My dress cost $600 and my bridesmaids dresses cost them each about $70. To this day, people tell me how much fun our wedding was and that is exactly what I wanted. Frankly, I would have gone to Vegas but my mother-in-law wanted us to have a big wedding (she doesn't have daughters) and she paid for everything. I was never the girl who dreamed of the big fancy wedding. They always seemed kind of pointless to me. And, lately, it seems that more emphasis is placed on the wedding and not the marriage.
Reply:I'm not a victim yet but I will be in another year when I start planning my wedding. Its almost impossible to have a wedding on a zero budget. My fiance and I do not have much money and we are going to end up paying for everything ourself. There is no way we can afford a 5 thousand dollar DEPOSIT on a location. Why does it have to be such an exorbitant (sp?) amount of money just to get married.





We are going to have to scrap and save for our wedding and even then it will not be a big production. I do believe the U.S. Wedding industry is out to hijack couples and take advantage. Its not fair to compromise your vision because the couple cannot afford to put themselves in debt just to get married.
Reply:We were only planning a VERY small wedding, and got scared off at the first hurdle (ring-buying, or rather just 'ring-contemplating') by the nightmarish creatures posing as salespeople in the jewellery store. They descended on us and were shoving anything and everything in our faces, some awful woman was asking me 'SO, HOW MUCH IS HE SPENDING??? HE SHOULD BE SPENDING AT LEAST X AMOUNT, YOU KNOW!!!', as if that was the secret trick to turn me into some harpy who would be demanding half a year's salary to be spent on my ring. Ugh.





So, we thought 'f*** that - no way are we dealing with this crap every step of the way', bought a couple of cheap 'temporary' rings elsewhere, and promptly got married, (without any guests at all) in the courthouse. Total wedding budget... the cost of the marriage licence plus the clothes we chose for the day. Not much.





We might try again, have some sort of a reception thing next year, but make very very very very sure not to have to deal with ANYONE (or any company) that makes it their business to rip people off just because they're getting married. The whole thing left a very nasty taste in my mouth - I have no idea how anyone actually goes through with organising a proper wedding, the whole industry that surrounds it is so loathsome!!
Reply:My most expensive part of the wedding attire was my bridal veil. It was $40.00. lol That was back in 1974! I made my floor length satin wedding gown and that was $20.00 for all of the materials. I also made the bridesmaid dresses and they were $10.00 each to make. The color was determined by what was on sale. (although blue was my favorite color, I had to settle for yellow dresses) I don't remember what the tux's cost to rent at that time. Had about 100 people at the wedding and church ladies made the food and my MIL provided the cake and the flowers. I remember the cake was $40.00 but didn't know how much the flowers were. The bridesmaids carried 1 yellow rose while I had a bouquet of white roses. We did have a professional photographer and I think photos ran $150. so that was to me the essential part of the wedding.... or so I thought.


As for what I would do different, I wouldn't have married my first husband. lol


The second time I was married in 1985, I was a professional cake decorator, so had that covered. lol I also did the flowers and I bought and wore a cream knee length dress that cost around $25.00 and my husband wore his air force uniform . We had a garden wedding with about 25 people. Oh yes and I illustrated and printed our wedding invitations. My mom and sisters made food for the reception, so it was quite simple. Just had simple snap shots. I think what I would have done different was to have had a professional photographer as the years have faded the photos.





When my daughter was married 7 years ago, her gown was less than $100. We went to the JC Penny outlet and we got all of her bridesmaids gowns for $10 each. Again color was determined by the price which was peach. Again I made the wedding cake and by then I was working at a floral shop and got all of the flowers wholesale as a perk of the job. I paid $150. which seemed like alot, but there were loads of flowers at her wedding! Her husband's parents were convieniently caterers. I don't remember what her photos cost but they were done by a professional photographer.